I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
