Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need to align my fucking chakras
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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