i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
