i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize