It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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