I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
