She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
