So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
