youre lurking in front of me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
