ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
