I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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