I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize