Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
