i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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