just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Come on in and take your pants off
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