He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
