Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry alllucky7777s hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

Fav 26 2357 3206
share tweet
(218): View more from Minnesota

i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

Fav 77 4963 1189
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?

Fav 31 8592 2360
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

Fav 20 5875 1430
share tweet
(705): View more from Ontario

I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

Fav 6 2924 1052
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?

Fav 7 2636 1133
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.

Fav 18 4477 1376
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(337): View more from Louisiana

Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.

Fav 0 210 630
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".

Fav 0 28 68
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT