i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize