Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
