Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
