420 ftw
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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