but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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