That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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