pop tarts are not kleenex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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