If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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