I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
