Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Still dying that you shit outside
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize