they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
