I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just gift wrapped bread.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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