apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
