i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
