This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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