and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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