Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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