Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have demons in me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
