I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He better not be in your backpack
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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