I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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