it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
