we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
