I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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