A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I want her autograph on my taint
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize