Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My penis needs a shock collar
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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