So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
