Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
