i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize