Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
