Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You don't make any sense
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