Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
