you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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