tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
