i'm lost and i look like a hooker
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
