I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
