if you like me you must not know who I am
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
