You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
