i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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