google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
