why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
