hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
