i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize